2 Simple Ways to Connect with Your Child

We need each other. Whether we are seven months, seven years, or seventy years old—as humans, we are built for connection. During the school year, our children are constantly plugged in and interacting with their peers and teachers throughout each day, and maybe even in extracurriculars on evenings and weekends. As the school year ends, so does our children’s known structure and routine. But their need for connection continues. 

Kids are hardwired to seek connection, and when summer comes, as parents we have a greater opportunity to fulfill this need. “How?” you might ask; we are busy people who already fulfill needs galore for others, not to mention meeting our own needs, right?! The beautiful thing is it doesn’t take an excess of time, money, or extravagance to connect with a child. Every moment we spend with our children is an opportunity to use a basic approach that can make a huge difference for them: Serve and Return. 

Serve- Initiate opportunity for your child to connect with you

Return- Respond by connecting when you recognize your child is seeking it

Simple ways to engage in Serve and Return include connecting, talking, and playing. Looking at your child, giving cuddles and hugs, resting a hand on their back, forehead kisses, or holding their hand. Listening to their questions and providing responses. Setting electronic devices aside, turning the TV off. Asking your kids questions about their day, or the thoughts and feelings they have. Playing simple copycat games such as Simon Says, Mirror, or Peek-a-Boo; or naming games such as identifying objects, shapes, or colors, or going on a scavenger hunt in the yard (or even the kitchen while you are cooking dinner!). Some of these take less than one minute. And there is plenty of room to get creative here! The more we engage with our children, no matter their age—that’s right, infants too!—the more it fosters secure attachments and relationships, builds confidence and life skills, decreases confusion and stress, and even contributes to preventing mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety later in their lives. So, as often as possible, take advantage of the additional time you have with your children this summer by Serving and Returning. You can even get the whole family involved to build memories and bonds that will literally last a lifetime!

This blog content was generously provided by the Recovery and Wellness Center of Eastern Washington.